jess_surb

Ode to the Elusive Black Flats – A Poem.

I long for you – day and night but mostly day

As the brilliance of summer fades to the brisk of autumn

The familiar desire for gorgeous black flats has returned

But to my dismay; everyone else has already got ‘em.

The situation seems pretty dire

And I want to become withdrawn and not chat

But then I realize this is just like when your girlfriend starts dating a guy

Who makes you realize you’d rather be single forever, than with that.

If I wanted to sound like a teacher walking down the hall,

I would have bought super high heels.

If I wanted to walk like Frankenstein,

Obviously flatforms have all the appeal.

Big chunky elastic on my heel hurts-

Seriously, who came up with that?!

And rosettes, dear lord the giant rosettes!

Oh honey, they belong in 1992 on Blossom’s hat.

I’m not a nun so I’d prefer my shoes not suggest it-

That’s something I’d truly abhor.

Existential questions flood my mind

Such as “why is that horrific faux zipper detail still in stores?!”

I don’t have endless criteria

I just want a black flat that’s thin and sleek

A shoe in a material so light and flexible

Allowing just enough toe cleavage to peek.

And here I launch my expedition

Searching high and low for you my dears

An ode to my darling elusive black flats

Can you please just freaking appear.

XO, J