I long for you – day and night but mostly day
As the brilliance of summer fades to the brisk of autumn
The familiar desire for gorgeous black flats has returned
But to my dismay; everyone else has already got ‘em.
The situation seems pretty dire
And I want to become withdrawn and not chat
But then I realize this is just like when your girlfriend starts dating a guy
Who makes you realize you’d rather be single forever, than with that.
If I wanted to sound like a teacher walking down the hall,
I would have bought super high heels.
If I wanted to walk like Frankenstein,
Obviously flatforms have all the appeal.
Big chunky elastic on my heel hurts-
Seriously, who came up with that?!
And rosettes, dear lord the giant rosettes!
Oh honey, they belong in 1992 on Blossom’s hat.
I’m not a nun so I’d prefer my shoes not suggest it-
That’s something I’d truly abhor.
Existential questions flood my mind
Such as “why is that horrific faux zipper detail still in stores?!”
I don’t have endless criteria
I just want a black flat that’s thin and sleek
A shoe in a material so light and flexible
Allowing just enough toe cleavage to peek.
And here I launch my expedition
Searching high and low for you my dears
An ode to my darling elusive black flats
Can you please just freaking appear.